when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
