i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
this beer tastes like vomit already
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
