You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
