I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
bring money and cleavage
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
