with your own penis?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
two words...techno handjob
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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