Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
