I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
