just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
