Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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