i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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