I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
