you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
