Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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