He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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