The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
