all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
