just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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