me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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