Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
