Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
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