my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
