I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
