i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Dicks are not precious.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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