Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
