Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
