Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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