You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
