you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
