I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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