Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
