Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
