If i come over, it means nothing
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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