so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Never underestimate the power of titties
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