did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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