Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
