her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
