I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
So here I am, sexting at work.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
