This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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