sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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