i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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