Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
