Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
