You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
