capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
