even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
