I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
