I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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