Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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