it was like his penis was on wheels.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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