And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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